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Father Custody Issues

My son in law has been attempting to get his son with full custody. He has been in his childs life more than the Mother since the divorce and the custody agreement, which didn't stay that way at all. To her favor. My soninlaw was always there for his son when she needed him to be. She used her son as a pawn with my son in law. He would do anything she wanted when it came to his son. And hence the reason he had him more than her. He paid child support on top of this. Just recently he found that she was moving 2 hours away from their close net home areas, and his school. She is capable of doing this from his attorneys point of view. They just went to court in front of the judge pleading his case that he has findings to prove that she is incapable of caring fully for their son.
In one of the ways he worked to be able to get his son at anytime, she would state she needed her child support in "cash". Why? because she had wrote a bad check which made it so she couldn't get a bank account. Many would say; I wouldn't do that. And sure enough in the court room she claims back child support, even though he has proof of taking out of his ATM the payments, and he was even willing to pay this amount that she has stated now that has already been paid, but anything to get his son. She had stated to the judge under oath that he was registered in a wonderful school, that she had bought a home in this distance because she couldn't find anything like it around their area and close to his school, father, etc. She did this on her own without telling my son in law. And then states that she told him many times. She did tell him that she was being evicted from her apartment, and that she was going tohave to move. But never discussed distance in any of this. She has been reported to DCF, and had the child given to the father with full custody. He was stupid and allowed her back into his life, and she took him again, HOW? she claimed sexual abuse with her daughter from another man. Of course you have to fight this allegation and he loses his son, and has visitations for a while, and then it all goes back to normal again, because she could not deal with him (the son). She just had too much going on in her life with 'boyfriends". She stated to judge that she has CANCER. There is no record of her having cancer. My son in law went with her to the doctors, and it was polyp that was removed and it was benign.. All lies from her, nothing is factual at all. Hence the reason I write this. My son in law is devastated after once again putting money out there to fight for his son. In knowing some of these lies, and other things that had been reported to him from DCF, he needed to get his son away from her, not a bad person, just an incapable person to take care of a six year old, oh and she also would be moving in her elderly grandmother that needs 24 hour cares. How does someone do this and raise a six year old? The lies, and more lies were made to judge under oath, obviously the judge went with the mother again , even though he was told that my daughter and son in law had him registered in school already before she even attempted to where she was moving, they have a beautiful home, another son involved that is just a few months younger that adores his stepbrother. What can my son in law do at this point.? There has to be something that we are all missing in this. Please help us help this child have a better life with his Father. He is a great Father, and his son wants to be with him, and he has issues everytime he has to return his son to his mother. He screams; I want to be with my "Daddy". It would make anyone cry seeing what this little man has to go thru, now living hours away and traffic to deal with on top of it. My kids will see this child one day every other weekend? In this Grandmothers eyes something isn't right here. He has been with him once again more than the mother since the custody and divorce was complete.

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Submitted Mon, 09/08/2014 - 12:53

Hi there,

It sounds like your son-in-law is in a very difficult situation and that both he and you question the mother's fitness as a parent and ability to be truthful. And so, while I note that you posted this in the mediation forum, I am going to say that your son-in-law really ought to consult with a family law litigator. I am a mediator who is also an attorney -- I help divorced couples, divorcing couples, and parents negotiate agreements through mediation. I believe mediation should often be considered as it tends to be less expensive than litigation and less emotionally taxing. It also has the benefit of allowing the individuals to decide on an agreement that works for them and their family as opposed to having a judge impose a court order on people that s/he barely knows. Mediation can work when there is anger and hurt feelings, but it is less effective when there are issues of trust between the negotiating parties. Here, I doubt your son-in-law trusts the mother at all. And so, that's why I recommend he speak with a family law litigator. There are a number of very fine litigators, and some of them offer free initial consultations that I would suggest your son-in-law take advantage of.

Best of luck,

Meredith Lawrence

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