Submitted by TrinaP on Mon, 12/19/2011 - 13:19
I'm currently trying to talk my husband into joining me in a divorce mediation in an effort to keep our separation as amicable as possible. We have two kids under the age of 18, one is 12 and the other is 14. My husband wants to sell the house and have us both find another place to live, me with the kids. I want to convince him that it is better for the kids to stay where we are and that selling the house would not be good for any of us. He feels there is equity and he wants us both to move to smaller homes. How would a mediator help me with this goal? Thank you.
Disposition of marital home with young children
I can't say for sure that a mediator would agree with your position or help you attain your goal. However, in many cases it does indeed make sense for the primary caregiver (I assume that is and will be you) to remain in the marital home with younger children. About the only thing I am certain the mediator will do is remind both parties that, if an agreement is not reached and the matter must be decided by a divorce court judge, that judge will seek to do what is in the best interest of the children, as she would if she were considering custody of the children, which does not appear to be in dispute in your case.
If you have not already considered this, the mediator may also suggest to your husband that you and the kids remain in the marital home until some date in the future, such as when the kids turn 18, when they will, in all likelihood, be equipped to deal with the change in their living arrangements. At that point, the real estate market in Massachusetts may be in better shape as well.
The marital home is usually a central, and often contentious, issue in any divorce, whether mediation is employed or not, and the mediator will likely walk you and your husband through a range of related issues, such as the amount of equity in the house, the size of the mortgage payment, real estate taxes, and maintenance expenses. It is possible, depending on those issues and the income of you and your husband, that his approach may be more realistic. Again, I cannot predict the outcome of your meditation. Good luck.