Submitted by BrianC on Mon, 10/03/2011 - 09:11
Hi. My wife has bi-polar disorder and has a long history of failing to take her medication as prescribed. When that happens she can be very difficult to live with. It's hard for me to understand what she's thinking, because when she is on her medicine her illness is well controlled. But I no longer feel it's safe for me and our daughter to live with her. I'm sick about this but I have to get a divorce. My question is about her mental illness and how that will impact our divorce and things like custody of our daughter. I don't want to use her illness as a weapon, but I assume the court will want to know about it. Thank you.
Mentally ill spouse
I am very sorry about your situation and about the difficult decision you have to make. Bi-polar disorder, like any other mental illness, can be a huge factor in any divorce proceeding because it is relevant to many of the decisions the court must make. For example, in some cases, a spouse with a mental illness may require some form of transitional alimony to help him move on to his new life outside of the marriage. Similarly, if your wife has a history of non-compliance with her required medications, that fact can be relevant to both the initial decision regarding custody and also to the determination of what visitation rights she should have.
So, yes, you are correct: This is an issue that must be considered by the court. You are not using it as a weapon. Rather, you have an obligation to bring this matter to the court in order to protect your daughter. It is your wife, after all, who is having a difficult time committing to the medicine that, she knows, will help her and improve her relationship with her child. Even if the judge initially orders limited or supervised visitation, your wife can ask for a different arrangement after she commits to the medicine and can demonstrate to the court that she is taking her meds as directed. Good luck.
Mental Illness in MA Divorce
I appreciate the difficulty of your situation. If you and your're wife are unable to reach an agreement about legal custody and parenting time, then your wife's mental health issues certainly could impact your divorce with respect to custody of your daughter if your wife chooses to contest your request for custody (which I am assuming you intend to make based on your question). Your wife could use her mental illness as a basis for alimony if she seeks such. For more information, please visit my web site berid-schutzbank.com. Thank you.