After my mother passed away last month and my younger brother realized that she had not left him as much of her estate as he had assumed she would, he became increasingly belligerent toward me and my sister. My mother did change her estate plan in the last year of her life because she was not happy with the way our brother was behaving toward her and other members of the family. So far he has not accused us of any impropriety, such as convincing our mother to reduce his share, but he seems to be heading in that direction. My sister and I are willing to give in a bit and let him have more of the estate if it would help him to move past his anger. My question is whether we have anything to lose by getting involved in a mediation with him to see if we can find a solution that makes him happy? Am I correct in assuming that there is no negative consequence to us if we make this effort? For example, I understand that a mediation is not binding in any way, correct? Sorry if this is a bit rambling, but I want to make sure I'm not overlooking anything before I propose mediation. Thanks.
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Mediation for inheritance dispute
I do not think you are overlooking any issues. The bottom line is that mediation can be helpful in any kind of a family dispute, as long as all parties are willing to participate in good faith. And, yes, your assumptions are correct. For example, unlike arbitration, mediation is not binding.
You have a lot to gain by trying mediation, both in terms of preserving your relationships with your brother and, perhaps, avoiding costly litigation. It is apparent that you are still concerned with your brother and his well being. I can't tell you how many questions I've seen over the years from people who are not happy with a relative's estate plan and want to know if they can sue. Of course they can sue, as can your brother. But the process is long, unpleasant, and expensive for all parties involved. Nothing destroys what little sibling love may be left in a family more effectively than litigation. On the other hand, by sitting together in a room with a trained mediator, your family can explore the possibilities for settling the dispute while learning something about what the other person is thinking. Perhaps you can find a way, as you suggest in your question, to help your brother understand your mother's reasoning for changing her estate plan while softening that blow with a monetary concession from you and/or your sister.
If your brother is not open to your attempts, or demands an unreasonable amount of the estate, you can always refuse his demands and force him to decide if he really wants to take legal action. At that point, at least you will know that you tried to mend the relationship. By the way, many estate plans, wills and trusts, have 'poison pill' provisions (or 'no contest' clauses) built into them so that, if an heir challenges his share of the estate, he is stripped of that share. In other words, your brother may be highly motivated to make the mediation work.