I visit my aunt on a fairly regular basis to say hi and see if she needs anything. She's 79 and lives alone, but has several people who come in once a week or everyday to help her with daily living activities like bathing and preparing meals. One of these people, a nursing aid, makes me very nervous. She always seems to be around when I visit and never wants to leave the room while I talk with my aunt. My aunt doesn't answer my questions about this woman during the few times I have her alone without the aid present. In fact she gets short with me and tells me not to worry. She also never asks me to do things related to her finances like she used to. She used to ask me to help her balance her checking account for example. Now she says no and seems to get upset when I ask. Is this something that I should report? It certainly seems like something is going on.
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The Editor, Mark Bernardin, is an attorney living in MA. Please send your suggestions or comments to: TheEditor@malawforum.com
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Financial abuse of senior citizens
Financial abuse of a senior citizen, or any vulnerable person, is certainly a serious form of abuse and should be reported. In extreme situations, financial abuse not only deprives an elder of her money, but can lead, obviously, to an inability to obtain necessities and good health care. In situations like the one you describe (if we assume the worst: the aide is improperly taking money from your aunt) it is common for the abused elder to refuse to cooperate and to, in some cases, become hostile toward the person who is trying to help. In some cases, this hostility is based on shame or guilt about allowing herself to be manipulated. In other cases, the senior may have been threatened by the abuser and fears abandonment or worse: physical abuse.
For anyone in your situation who is concerned about the well-being of an elder relative or friend, I would recommend that you trust your instincts. Get on the Internet and Google "warning signs of elder financial abuse." You will find many good resources that spell out the more common things to watch for. Then, if you have concerns, call your local Elder Services Office and talk about your observations. These offices receive support from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and are scattered across the state. The bottom line is, in my opinion, if your gut tells you your loved one is in danger, you are better off erring on the side of a false report. The authorities will not charge in and start arresting people, but are trained to investigate these situations in a tactful but thorough manner. Hope that helps.