Submitted by GHartnett on Tue, 02/15/2011 - 10:02
Posted in
I'm involved in an argument with my sister regarding our mother, who has early stage dementia. I have her in an assisted living facility that, I believe, provides the proper level of care. My sister has been going behind my back and talking to mother about moving to a different, cheaper place that does not offer assisted living services. I am the current power of attorney for my mother, but my sister says she may try to get my mother to sign a new POA even though my mother is often confused and may not know what she is signing. I think my sister is acting in what, she believes, is my mom's best interest, but I know she is wrong about this. What can I do? Can she just talk my mom into signing a new power of attorney? Can I stop her?
Dispute re power of attorney
Wow. That sounds like a messy situation, and you have my sympathy. If you are still able to communicate with your sister, you need to talk to her and ask her to hold off on any action regarding the power of attorney. The last thing you want is to have to go to court to try to convince a judge that the new power of attorney is invalid because your mother was not competent to execute it. That is an expensive and time consuming process (for both of you). See if your sister is willing to bring in a trusted third party to talk to your mother and then work with both of you to find a solution that works for all parties (especially your mom). That third party could be a geriatric case manager or an attorney who is trained in family mediation. It sounds like you both want what is best for your mom, so this approach may well work. Good luck.
sibling disagreement
Hi. Attorney Allan Baron here. This is a classic and common problem between well meaning siblings. Before this matter gets out of control both emotionally and financially I advise you both to meet with a mediator experienced in elder law and the mediation process in order to help you both identify the issue, help you identify common interest, help you generate various options that may work for you mother and the two of you. It is also important for you both to have a plan moving forward for your mother's long term care needs and management of her assets and expenses that include you both. I am sure that your mother would not want her children arguing over her and would want you two to maintain a good relationship moving forward.
www.baronlawmediation.com
allan@baronlawmediation.com