Submitted by RichW on Tue, 12/20/2011 - 08:46
My wife and I have begun our divorce and she has an attorney. She filed so I'm just catching up and looking for an attorney now. We have two young children(7 and 9) and my wife has made it clear to be that this will be a no holds barred kind of brawl in which she intends to get custody of the kids at any cost. I believe my wife is not a very good mother and expect that she will, in fact, use our kids as weapons. When it comes to child custody, what steps, if any, can I take to limit the damage she may cause to my case for custody (and to the kids) and improve my own chances? Thanks.
Custody in MA
The issue of child custody in MA always comes down to what is in the best interest of the children. As soon as you retain an attorney (ASAP, I hope) explain your concern to her and allow her to guide you through the process. My advice to you is do nothing that will harm the court's opinion of you, regardless of what your wife may be planning, and focus on the best interest of your kids. This is a time to be on your best behavior and to demonstrate to all, including the judge, that you are the better parent. Judges have seen it all and have no desire to place children with a parent who sets out to sabotage the relationship between the other spouse and the kids or who seeks to obtain custody through underhanded practices.
You do not mention, and perhaps you do not know, what your wife has in mind, but your attorney will explain to you that your wife's bad behavior can be exposed and used against her. For example, if your wife is using any form of communication (such as emails, text messages, etc.) to denigrate you to your children or others, those communications may become evidence for the court to review. Similarly, any bad behavior by your wife in front friends, neighbors, teachers, etc., can be disclosed in court and used as evidence of her inability to parent in a mature and responsible manner. Work with your attorney, behave, and you and your kids will be OK. Good luck.
Child Custody
RichW,
In addition to the suggestions of the editor I suggest that you get in contact with the kids teachers and doctor and let them know what is going on. Explain to them that you want to help the children through this process and ask them for suggestions. This goes a long way to establishing a rapport with third parties in the children's lives.
Wyckoff Nissenbaum
www.SomervilleLawOffice.com