My husband (a fanatic when it comes to saving money) recently announced that he is going to save me a bundle by planning his funeral in a way that does not involve a funeral director. Please tell me he cannot do that.
-- Susan, North Andover

Sorry, Susan, but many cemeteries and crematories in Massachusetts and neighboring states will work directly with families. Because embalming and funeral director participation are not required by law, it is possible for families to save quite a bit of money by caring for their own dead. However, those considering this option should understand that funeral directors do more than stand around with their faces set in mournful, yet comforting, expressions; They perform many and varied tasks for their customers, including obtaining all certificates and permits required by law.

Obviously, the physical limitations of being dead will make it hard for your husband to carry out his plan on his own. I assume that this fact, and the possibility that he is counting on you to help with his plan, is what concerns you. If you have absolutely no intention of helping, perhaps you can support his wishes by finding a friend or family member who is willing to assist. If, on the other hand, you are simply uncomfortable about any type of non-traditional funeral for your husband (regardless of how limited your involvement), then the two of you need to chat. Otherwise, if your husband dies before you do, you will either have to refuse to honor his wishes or endure an uncomfortable experience during an already difficult time. To learn more about the legal and practical requirements of caring for your own dead, visit the Funeral Consumers Alliance webpage: www.funerals.org.

(Submitted by the Editor)